As they celebrated Passover, the word of the Lord must have rocked everyone in the room:
“Truly, truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me” (John 13:21).
It had been just a short while ago they all had argued about who would be the greatest. Now it was told one would be the least—a betrayer. But no one knew who as “the disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he spoke” (John 13:22 ESV).
I can’t help but think that Peter feared he was the one, as the words of Jesus spoken to him a short time earlier still reverberated in his spirit, “The one who has bathed does not need to wash, except for his feet, but is completely clean. And you are clean, but not every one of you” (John 13:10 ESV). Maybe to confirm his personal accusation “… Simon Peter therefore beckoned to him, that he should ask who it should be of whom he spake” (John 13:24 KJV).
“Beckoned” means to signal. Ever wondered what that motion was? Was it a nod or a furled brow? Did Simon Peter mouth the words, “Ask Him”? Or did he just give John a fearful look and desperate sigh?
Whatever the action was it is interesting that after all the personal confrontations and conversations Simon Peter had with Jesus, he chose not to go directly to the Master himself.
Rather, he ‘beckoned’ John to inquire for him. It seems there was a private fearfulness that overrode Peter’s afore-witnessed boldness.
I believe there are times when we too are fearful. Afraid of His response, we fail to go to the Lord personally.
With no one close by to motion to, we languish in the waters of the unknown and become more fearful and discouraged.
It is in those times of trepidation that we must recall His love, care, and concern for us. We must remember that, as our heavenly Father, He has only our best interest at heart—even (unlike Simon Peter) if our fear is justified.
Remember today Hebrews 4:15 KJV:
“For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.”
And then practice Hebrews 4:16 KJV:
“Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”
