The word of the Lord must have rocked everyone in the room, “Truly, truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me” (John 13:21).
It had been just a few hours ago, they all had argued about who would be the greatest; now it was told one would be the least—a betrayer—but no one knew who as “the disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he spoke” (John 13:22 ESV).
And they responded with a systematic echo, “…say[ing] to Him one by one, ‘Surely not I?’” (Mark 14:19 NASB).
I can’t help but think Simon Peter feared most that he was the one; after all, Jesus had previously spoken to him words that must still be reverberating in his spirit,
“The one who has bathed does not need to wash, except for his feet, but is completely clean. And you are clean, but not every one of you” (John 13:10 ESV).
He then inquired further, “So Simon Peter motioned to him [the disciple whom Jesus loved] to ask Jesus of whom he was speaking” (John 13:24 ESV).
Ever wondered what that motion was? Was it a nod or a furrowed brow? Did Peter mouth the words, “Ask Him”? Or did he give John a fearful look and a desperate sigh? Whatever the action was, it is interesting that after all the personal confrontations that Peter had with Jesus, he chose not to, again, go directly to the Master himself.
It seems there was a private fearfulness that overrode Peter’s afore-witnessed boldness.
Sometimes we are fearful, afraid of His response, and fail to go to the Lord personally. With no one nearby to motion to, we languish in the unknown waters and become more fearful and discouraged. In those times of trepidation, we must recall His love, care, and concern for us.
As our heavenly Father, we must remember that He has only our best interest at heart—even (and unlike Peter) if our fear is justified.
Today, let’s recall Hebrews 4:15 KJV: “For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.”
And then practice the next verse, “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need” (verse 16).
Finally, pray for those who may still be fearful of the Lord, especially those who may think they can never be forgiven when in all actuality, the Lord is just a personal confession away.
