There are times I succumb to, what I call, the dark side of Solomon.
There, Solomon’s darkness replaces hope with pessimism and adverse history eclipses faith’s optimism. It is there, in that place, all becomes vanity.
See if you have ever felt the way Solomon penned and strove deep into vanity’s cave,
“I hated all the things I had toiled for under the sun, because I must leave them to the one who comes after me. And who knows whether that person will be wise or foolish? Yet they will have control over all the fruit of my toil into which I have poured my effort and skill under the sun. This too is meaningless. So my heart began to despair over all my toilsome labor under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 2:18-20).
Sitting in the depth of vanity’s darkness keeps me from seeing the shadows of my arrogance.
How could I even imagine seeking reward for any facet of life’s result done in service to my Lord, the One in whom I live, breathe, and have my very being? How could I ever allow myself to turn from the liberating light of servility to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords to the bondage of serving myself and its resulting emptiness?
Yet, much to my chagrin, on occasion, I do.
Then, when I do come to myself, and listen to my arrogant accusations, I begin to leave the dark side of Solomon and turn toward the illumination of my Father.
How?
By humbling myself before the Lord in repentant prayer and remembering, as does my Father, that I am but dust,
“For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust” (Psalm 103:14);
And,
“Know that the LORD Himself is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture” (Psalm 100:3);
And finally,
“Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life” (2 Corinthians 3:5, 6).
Thank you, Lord, for being a merciful and understanding God through all my faults, failures, and fallacies.
Amen and amen.
